Please don't go

You're my best friend,

so naturally we have to live together,
share everything. I have a spare room.
Leave it to me deal with the finances.
I'll let you have some pocket money
to buy yourself something nice
from time to time.

You're my best friend,

don't talk to anyone else.
Your voice is stronger if I decide
who our friends are, who to spurn,
if I speak for both of us.

Just think of all the parties
you would never be invited to
if you weren't my friend.

My very best friend.

You get into nightclubs
when you're with me,
otherwise you would get sent
straight to the end of the queue,
so let's stick together, friend.
Just think how stupid you look
out there on your own.

Don't even think of leaving.
What have you got going for you?
Don't make me laugh!
I love you. Please don't go!

What would I do without you?

You're my best friend.