Wednesday, 23 July 2014

The day I met President Barak Obama

(This is a previously unpublished first draft of an article that subsequently appeared in the Daily Record)

"I don't care what it costs, just don't get me anything with Stilton on it".

With these words the leader of the free world dealt a devastating blow to the dreams of an independent farmhouse craft blue cheese made from unpasteurised milk somewhere in Scotland.

I was in Washington as part of a delegation led by Darren Millimetre, leader of Her Brittanic Majesty's Loyal Opposition. The backdrop was our discussion of  key matters of international significance, like the budget for the space programme which will allow us to land an astronaut on Mars and returning him safely to Earth again, and what the precise conversion factors are between metric and imperial units of measurement.

But being a Scottish MP, once we decided to take a break for lunch, I leant over the desk and asked President Obama straight to his face what he would like me to get him from the Pennsylvania Avenue branch of Greggs.

President Obama was a senator from Illinois, which is near Wisconsin, where they make all of the cheese consumed in North America, so he knows a thing or two about cheese and the diversity of types available. We live in a world where what happens in relation to cheese outside of Scotland matters. And as part of the UK Scotland has a seat at the top table when the cheese is being sliced up and shared out.

As a Scottish MP I have seen Scottish cheese being consumed at lunchtime by members of the board of the IMF, and my great-great-grandparents were among the first to introduce Emmental to China.

After lunch, I reflected on the big decisions we have to make, and the wise advice of my very very good friend, my best buddy, my BFF. On the 18th of September, I won't be having any blue cheese at lunchtime.

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