We are not minds. We are not bodies.
We are embodied minds. We are thinking bodies.
Beauty, music, cosmos: this is what we are,
not sexbots and simulations, but the opposite.
We confront the true terrifying reality,
embrace incandescent beauty we find in others
until it obliterates all the solipsisms
where our ego found refuge. We are made
of connections that liberate us from ego,
of all the constellations we can see,
all the many beautiful patterns of stars
we observe from our single point of view,
all the artifacts of our brief trajectory
beneath a sky filled with astronomies of self,
beautiful illusions that eventually yield to parallax,
but even once our journeys come to an end,
our atoms dissagregating and recombining
in some other organism, subordinated to another life,
the stars that once assembled to tell our tales
gathering in shapes we no longer recognise,
witnessed according to another perspective,
conquered by an unfamiliar zodiac,
yet we survive, in the possibility of beauty
to which our brief lives gave testament,
for which there is no deletion, no erasure.
We instantiate the universe, we do not record it.
We are the mistakes made by a blind amnesiac god
groping and casting about for the keys to his creation,
but we are also that world saturated with light
which they unlock. This is no contradiction,
unless one one assumes our ignorance is all there is,
and constructs an entire universe out of it.
We infer our individual existence from astronomies of self,
from the way we perceive how the different forms
the universe can take seem to queue up for our attention,
the way sights and sounds congregate like constellations
only we can see. We take the existence of a point of view
as evidence we exist to experience it. We confer on ourselves
the same degree of reality we attribute to our observations,
but there is no logical necessity or inevitability to this.
We merely borrow the uniqueness of our experiences.
Our philosophies insist it was always ours, but it isn't.
We are followed by shadows. We think they are our own,
but all we know is that they seem to follow something,
and we decide it must be us, because what else could it be?
We think we are dancers because we see the shadows dance,
but in the end all the shadows are evidence of is the light.
When I was young I had an epiphany.
I understood my own insignificance.
I was lost in an infinite mist,
and felt myself disappear completely,
and become one with it. I remember finding
the word "glory" most closely approximating
a description of the experience, although of course
that cosmic indifference that annihilates or transforms
according to the spirit in which we choose to meet it
cannot be communicated. Ever since
my entire morality has been dictated
by the extent to which an idea or action
is consistent with or contradicts that insight,
that awareness of my own insignificance.
My aesthetics have been governed
by harmonies through which one can negotiate a path
back to that perfect monotone in which they are fulfilled
and cease to exist. At times the world seemed nothing more
than an interruption of my ecstasy. At the same time,
there was nothing the words of men could rob of beauty,
no condemnation that was not hollow, no gutter
in which I did not find the precinct of eternity,
nothing discarded as broken or useless
from which the superficial evaluations of man did not peel
to reveal the universe in all its beauty. I felt anointed.